"I cry over everything." She reminded him through another empty laugh and yet more tears. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands for a bit, until she realized that she probably looked very much like a child doing that, and so she abruptly stopped and put a smile on her face for him. She was here for him, not the other way around. "I was only crying because you don't ever let yourself. Someone here needed to cry for you."
She pointed this out a little flatly, as if she didn't believe what she was saying at all. It was difficult to really care about the reason for crying when you had just been hit with a giant realization that the world sucks and your optimism for a happy ending was just a big fuck up in the end. No one was going to get a happy ever after in this, unless their name was Sam or they were nicknamed Zebra. Claire would make sure they got their house in Texas, at least, and that they got to be happy. And that gave her a tiny bit of peace in the moment, some other purpose to set her sight on, other than chasing after a hopeless cause.
"Sometimes I think that if I try hard enough, I could make you feel how I do, and understand it. Not feel it back for me, but see yourself the way I do. If you could do that, then maybe you wouldn't ever have to worry about what Sam's heaven is like, or what the angels are doing to betray you next." She attempted to explain her train of thought carefully, speaking slowly so she didn't stumble over any of her words. She looked almost confused once she trailed off, as if she were trying to figure out for herself if any of it made any sense.
"Anyways, it doesn't really matter in the end, does it? What's the point in trying, if God isn't even listening when I pray every night for you and Sam? If he won't listen to the two of you, then there's no way he'd listen to me and all of the times I've asked him to protect you."
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She pointed this out a little flatly, as if she didn't believe what she was saying at all. It was difficult to really care about the reason for crying when you had just been hit with a giant realization that the world sucks and your optimism for a happy ending was just a big fuck up in the end. No one was going to get a happy ever after in this, unless their name was Sam or they were nicknamed Zebra. Claire would make sure they got their house in Texas, at least, and that they got to be happy. And that gave her a tiny bit of peace in the moment, some other purpose to set her sight on, other than chasing after a hopeless cause.
"Sometimes I think that if I try hard enough, I could make you feel how I do, and understand it. Not feel it back for me, but see yourself the way I do. If you could do that, then maybe you wouldn't ever have to worry about what Sam's heaven is like, or what the angels are doing to betray you next." She attempted to explain her train of thought carefully, speaking slowly so she didn't stumble over any of her words. She looked almost confused once she trailed off, as if she were trying to figure out for herself if any of it made any sense.
"Anyways, it doesn't really matter in the end, does it? What's the point in trying, if God isn't even listening when I pray every night for you and Sam? If he won't listen to the two of you, then there's no way he'd listen to me and all of the times I've asked him to protect you."