As his fingers crept up along her bare skin, she couldn't prevent her body from shivering in pleasure and her back from arching, although she tried to. She wasn't sure why she didn't want to come across as innocent, but she was trying her best to be everything she wasn't. Dean liked the girls that he picked up at the bars, the women who knew who they were and what they were doing. She had no idea who she was anymore, and had lost herself in trying to find some kind of meaning, and had become so entangled in helping Dean find her own that he was her purpose now. For the past few months she had existed to support him, she had lost her own drive to be anyone outside of him. It was a sudden realization that caused her to still, and she almost hated herself.
But throughout her self loathing she actually managed a soft laugh at the Bon Jovi remark, and she halfheartedly rolled her eyes. It wasn't his fault he was emotionally constipated, however, and so she didn't hold it against him for longer than a few seconds. Because as soon as it registered to her that he had kissed her forehead, and that he looked like he was just as confused as she was, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. This turned into a trail of kisses that went down his jaw and neck, to stop at the curve, where she just pressed her face into the area and let out a long breath of air.
She nuzzled in as close to him as she could possibly get, her fingers curling into the sides of his shirt, holding onto him as if he was somehow going to help her figure herself out. Because as much as he needed to be able to feel something, she needed to figure out what in the hell was going on, and figure out why she wasn't screaming at him to not do this. But she wasn't telling him not to, she wasn't even thinking that it was an option for her to be doing so. Because she wanted this, and she was too selfish to throw away one perfect moment. She never thought of him as being selfish for this, however, because she was the one that should have known better than to get herself in this position.
Another breath of air was released and she whispered words against his neck, ones that he would only hear if he was closely listening to her. "I love you, please don't break me."
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But throughout her self loathing she actually managed a soft laugh at the Bon Jovi remark, and she halfheartedly rolled her eyes. It wasn't his fault he was emotionally constipated, however, and so she didn't hold it against him for longer than a few seconds. Because as soon as it registered to her that he had kissed her forehead, and that he looked like he was just as confused as she was, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. This turned into a trail of kisses that went down his jaw and neck, to stop at the curve, where she just pressed her face into the area and let out a long breath of air.
She nuzzled in as close to him as she could possibly get, her fingers curling into the sides of his shirt, holding onto him as if he was somehow going to help her figure herself out. Because as much as he needed to be able to feel something, she needed to figure out what in the hell was going on, and figure out why she wasn't screaming at him to not do this. But she wasn't telling him not to, she wasn't even thinking that it was an option for her to be doing so. Because she wanted this, and she was too selfish to throw away one perfect moment. She never thought of him as being selfish for this, however, because she was the one that should have known better than to get herself in this position.
Another breath of air was released and she whispered words against his neck, ones that he would only hear if he was closely listening to her. "I love you, please don't break me."