Just as greedily as he'd devoured her kisses earlier, Dean soaked in her words now. Her reassurances.
I'm not ever going to leave you.
I love you.
Nothing is going to change that or take it away.
It was pathetic how much that meant to him, because he usually did nothing more than make fun of this kind of sappy shit. But it did. Especially after his brief reunion with his mom, the only other real source he'd had of some form of that love, had been tainted and ruined by Zachariah's sick games. It'd only served to remind him how far away from it he felt, and now he soaked it up like a drowning man coming up for air. The way she smiled at him.
He was stealing it from her, he knew that much. Stealing stuff that didn't belong to him, that she should be saving and sharing with somebody else.
As her hands began to trace the outline of his features, his own eyes flickered closed again, and he sucked in a breath, trying to calm himself down, but refusing to pull her hands away. He couldn't believe she was still actually here, and the fact that she was, even after she'd admitted she shouldn't be, admitted she cared too much about her boyfriend or herself to... compromise everything, she was still here. She was still lovingly caressing his neck, his chest, his face. His hand reached up to gently capture hers when her fingers paused at his lips, and he opened his eyes again too, when she spoke.
Dean wasn't sure what to say to that at first, so he simply held her hand against his lips, before lighting a lasting kiss on her knuckle, eyes holding hers. He couldn't promise her what she wanted. He still wasn't sure he'd be comin' out the other end of this alive. And if he was, Sam and Claire would still be together, and he couldn't be with this Claire, and he wasn't sure he'd ever love her like she loved him. This was not going to be okay, no matter what.
So he wouldn't push her to do anything she didn't want to do now, but he'd hold on to her for this one night. As much as he could.
He tried to smile back, but it was just as forced and half-broken as hers.
"Claire, you don't have to ... sleep with me. That's not..." He still spoke against her hand, shaking his head slightly. "I don't know what I want. Just... stay here. Tonight."
Dean lowered her hand, still keeping it in his. He leaned his head down again, sweeping another kiss against her cheek and then turning his face so that his rested against hers. And so that she couldn't see his expression.
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I'm not ever going to leave you.
I love you.
Nothing is going to change that or take it away.
It was pathetic how much that meant to him, because he usually did nothing more than make fun of this kind of sappy shit. But it did. Especially after his brief reunion with his mom, the only other real source he'd had of some form of that love, had been tainted and ruined by Zachariah's sick games. It'd only served to remind him how far away from it he felt, and now he soaked it up like a drowning man coming up for air. The way she smiled at him.
He was stealing it from her, he knew that much. Stealing stuff that didn't belong to him, that she should be saving and sharing with somebody else.
As her hands began to trace the outline of his features, his own eyes flickered closed again, and he sucked in a breath, trying to calm himself down, but refusing to pull her hands away. He couldn't believe she was still actually here, and the fact that she was, even after she'd admitted she shouldn't be, admitted she cared too much about her boyfriend or herself to... compromise everything, she was still here. She was still lovingly caressing his neck, his chest, his face. His hand reached up to gently capture hers when her fingers paused at his lips, and he opened his eyes again too, when she spoke.
Dean wasn't sure what to say to that at first, so he simply held her hand against his lips, before lighting a lasting kiss on her knuckle, eyes holding hers. He couldn't promise her what she wanted. He still wasn't sure he'd be comin' out the other end of this alive. And if he was, Sam and Claire would still be together, and he couldn't be with this Claire, and he wasn't sure he'd ever love her like she loved him. This was not going to be okay, no matter what.
So he wouldn't push her to do anything she didn't want to do now, but he'd hold on to her for this one night. As much as he could.
He tried to smile back, but it was just as forced and half-broken as hers.
"Claire, you don't have to ... sleep with me. That's not..." He still spoke against her hand, shaking his head slightly. "I don't know what I want. Just... stay here. Tonight."
Dean lowered her hand, still keeping it in his. He leaned his head down again, sweeping another kiss against her cheek and then turning his face so that his rested against hers. And so that she couldn't see his expression.
"Please."