She was crying now - he could tell immediately, as he wasn't that entirely wrapped up in himself right now to go without noticing. His lips just pressed against her cheek, again and again, parting as he drew out a shaky sigh. It was so wrong of him to keep her here tonight. And he could feel the burden it was putting on her now. Because he knew exactly how heavy his own burden was, the insane weight of it, that Cas had pointed out was more than any mortal man could shoulder.
And here he was, trying to dump it on to hers, and expect her to deal. To keep giving.
If he really pushed all his burdens on to her, let himself go right now, it would simply crush her. That was one of the reasons he didn't do this. Didn't open up. And it was only now becoming crystal clear to him how horrible of an idea it was to crack even for a moment and let someone else bear the weight that was his to carry.
So even if he wasn't sure it was the right thing to say, he couldn't stand just telling her the straight up truth when she asked him: that if things were different, he wouldn't have ever gotten this close to her. He could switch roles and be strong for her here, enough to get her to stop shaking, to stop her having to face the darkness that he constantly stared into.
His fingers wound through her hair as he considered what to say.
"Claire, you know I'd die to protect you too. I'd do anything I could. And you do matter. And if things were different..." His mouth dragged against her jaw again, just gently. Affectionately. "Who knows. I can't say I wouldn't. I mean... you're amazing, Claire. And you're... gorgeous and... smart." He wasn't reaching for compliments, just... unused to giving them, at least without them being just another part of flirtatious banter. He wanted her to know that he meant it. "And you're just one of the best people I've ever met. You give everything you have for everybody else. I respect the hell outta that."
His hand continued to stroke through her hair, pulling her tighter against him. "Don't cry, alright? I don't wanna make you cry."
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And here he was, trying to dump it on to hers, and expect her to deal. To keep giving.
If he really pushed all his burdens on to her, let himself go right now, it would simply crush her. That was one of the reasons he didn't do this. Didn't open up. And it was only now becoming crystal clear to him how horrible of an idea it was to crack even for a moment and let someone else bear the weight that was his to carry.
So even if he wasn't sure it was the right thing to say, he couldn't stand just telling her the straight up truth when she asked him: that if things were different, he wouldn't have ever gotten this close to her. He could switch roles and be strong for her here, enough to get her to stop shaking, to stop her having to face the darkness that he constantly stared into.
His fingers wound through her hair as he considered what to say.
"Claire, you know I'd die to protect you too. I'd do anything I could. And you do matter. And if things were different..." His mouth dragged against her jaw again, just gently. Affectionately. "Who knows. I can't say I wouldn't. I mean... you're amazing, Claire. And you're... gorgeous and... smart." He wasn't reaching for compliments, just... unused to giving them, at least without them being just another part of flirtatious banter. He wanted her to know that he meant it. "And you're just one of the best people I've ever met. You give everything you have for everybody else. I respect the hell outta that."
His hand continued to stroke through her hair, pulling her tighter against him. "Don't cry, alright? I don't wanna make you cry."