He was relieved when her tears actually stemmed in time, and another empty smile tugged at his lips at her proclamation that she wanted this to be 'perfect'. Really, it should have been as far from perfect as possible, all things considered, but she still seemed as if she wanted to be here, and curled against him as if she could derive some real comfort from it.
When he felt her plant a kiss against his chest, where his heart was, his eyes swept down to catch her pressed against him, obviously listening to its beat. It sort of fascinated him, but he didn't want to get caught staring at her again, afraid he'd only end up wrecking her 'perfect moment' somehow. So he looked over her head, thumb twisting through a strand of pale blond hair idly.
Her next words however, caught his attention again, and he looked back down to meet her gaze, relieved to see her looking stronger again. But he still hesitated. It wasn't right of him to just pour out his whole story on to her. It'd only end with her cryin' again. Any sensible person would. As he searched for the words to explain that, she drew herself even closer, wrapping herself up in him, and his arms tightened around her instinctively. He leaned his cheek against her forehead - the word 'cuddling' not entering his mind at all. In his eyes, he was clinging to her because if he let go, he'd just end up drifting again, and he knew that moment was coming - just not when.
Castiel had urged him, after their return, to open up, to talk to someone, or feel something, or scream it out, and he'd tried then, and failed to find the words to explain what he was going through. How was it gonna be any different now?
"About what, Claire? ... Heaven?" He figured she didn't mean the whole story of his life, from start to finish, because it was just too much.
But he knew she was talking about more than just one event. She wanted him to talk about what he'd been feeling, and going through, and he groaned inwardly, just out of instinct. It'd never been easy for him, and he suspected it never would be.
no subject
When he felt her plant a kiss against his chest, where his heart was, his eyes swept down to catch her pressed against him, obviously listening to its beat. It sort of fascinated him, but he didn't want to get caught staring at her again, afraid he'd only end up wrecking her 'perfect moment' somehow. So he looked over her head, thumb twisting through a strand of pale blond hair idly.
Her next words however, caught his attention again, and he looked back down to meet her gaze, relieved to see her looking stronger again. But he still hesitated. It wasn't right of him to just pour out his whole story on to her. It'd only end with her cryin' again. Any sensible person would. As he searched for the words to explain that, she drew herself even closer, wrapping herself up in him, and his arms tightened around her instinctively. He leaned his cheek against her forehead - the word 'cuddling' not entering his mind at all. In his eyes, he was clinging to her because if he let go, he'd just end up drifting again, and he knew that moment was coming - just not when.
Castiel had urged him, after their return, to open up, to talk to someone, or feel something, or scream it out, and he'd tried then, and failed to find the words to explain what he was going through. How was it gonna be any different now?
"About what, Claire? ... Heaven?" He figured she didn't mean the whole story of his life, from start to finish, because it was just too much.
But he knew she was talking about more than just one event. She wanted him to talk about what he'd been feeling, and going through, and he groaned inwardly, just out of instinct. It'd never been easy for him, and he suspected it never would be.