Hearing him talk about younger Sam put a smile on her face, an honest to goodness one that he could probably feel against his skin. She laughed a little as she thought about what the size difference between the two must have been when Sam was thirteen, for once Dean was the taller one. As her warm breath hit him and bounced back into her own face, she just laughed more, and she was overcome by a sudden contented feeling. She was imagining what Dean had seen up in Heaven, and she was able to clearly see the two brothers together. And something about Dean being able to actually spend peaceful time with Sam was so valuable to even her, she couldn't imagine what it must have been like for him.
"Imagine that, you buying fireworks illegally and carrying around a lighter. You were what, though, if Sam was thirteen? Sixteen or seventeen?" She tried to imagine Dean being that young, tried to picture what he looked like and wondered if he acted the same way he did now. And wondering about ages made her think to how old she had been that particular fourth of July, and it made her eyes bulge a little as she realized the answer. "I...was still five on that day. I was a month away from being six. I don't really even remember what I did."
That put things in perspective to her, about not only how wrong it was for her to want Dean the way she did, but for how awkward it was for Sam and Zebra to be together. All of their lives were entirely screwed up, and she was glad that she had turned back into her comfort spot in order to mask the fact that she had caused herself to cringe.
"What did Sam do? You stopped telling the story." She urged him to continue speaking, so that neither of them would really sit and think about their age difference.
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"Imagine that, you buying fireworks illegally and carrying around a lighter. You were what, though, if Sam was thirteen? Sixteen or seventeen?" She tried to imagine Dean being that young, tried to picture what he looked like and wondered if he acted the same way he did now. And wondering about ages made her think to how old she had been that particular fourth of July, and it made her eyes bulge a little as she realized the answer. "I...was still five on that day. I was a month away from being six. I don't really even remember what I did."
That put things in perspective to her, about not only how wrong it was for her to want Dean the way she did, but for how awkward it was for Sam and Zebra to be together. All of their lives were entirely screwed up, and she was glad that she had turned back into her comfort spot in order to mask the fact that she had caused herself to cringe.
"What did Sam do? You stopped telling the story." She urged him to continue speaking, so that neither of them would really sit and think about their age difference.