http://likedillinger.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] likedillinger.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] likedillinger 2010-04-11 04:32 am (UTC)

"Are you so sure? I mean... it'll work for awhile, but you girls... you're not gonna... age right? I mean you're always gonna look a lot like you do now. How long is Sam's life gonna be 'normal' because of that? And I know Claire's pretty touchy on that whole kids subject." He forced himself to stop, stop talking about Sam's future as if it were this impossible dream. He wanted the kid to be happy. He really did.

But he didn't know how to believe in it - or anything - anymore.

Claire's simple reassurances made him actually realize how much that was exactly what he wanted. To be back with her again. Soon. It was a startling thought, a sobering one.

Wanting to be in heaven. Wanting to be home. To have the fight be over. Wanting it more than anything.

"No, I don't mind," he said, surprised that this, at least, was easy. "She was... Don't take this wrong way, but... you and the other Claire, you always reminded of her. Like, when I met a younger her, when the angels chucked me into the past. She was... beautiful, and tough, and kind, and loyal, and... everything she could have been." He rubbed at his eyes, as he spoke the next part: "But in, uh, in that scene, in heaven, Dad called and... he was fightin' with Mom. They used to do that sometimes. Y'know, sometimes it could get pretty bad, but... "

"But I just held her and I told her it was gonna be okay. And that I loved her, and so did Dad. And I wasn't gonna leave her." The words were almost mumbled, and there was a burning near the surface of his cheeks he wasn't really accustomed to. He coughed quickly. "She said..." But no, he couldn't go any further. Some things were just his, and it was bad enough Sam had witnessed them.

"Anyways, I wish Sam could have known her. I wish... hell, a lot of things, but that most of all. That we could have saved her. Her and Dad. Hell, we'd give anything if we could do that." His stomach swam with nausea as he remembered only months ago when him and Sam had been ready to make that sacrifice. When he'd met Michael.

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