Dean Winchester (
likedillinger) wrote2018-02-04 09:40 pm
Entry tags:
character relationship meme;

Comment here with your character's name for a big block of text (ooc) about how mine feels about yours.
As long as we've interacted a few times,
it'll be tailored to your specific version of the char,
so feel free, for example, to ask about your Sam,
even if there's another Sam I've already answered for, etc. etc.
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It doesn't matter how old this post is,
feel free to comment~

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also Carmen, though I don't have time to log in as her right now. Have to hit the hay and get up early tomorrow.
TL;DR TIME omg.
I think he sees real potential for a friendship with Elle, which weirds him out, because he doesn't do friendships with girls very readily (Jo and Claire are exceptions, because he looks at them like sisters, and there's not a real sexual aspect to it). For him to find someone that he can both talk to about real things, and have incredibly naughty sex-capades with, well, that's new to him. He's still not sure what to do with it.
Obviously, Dean has a strong physical attraction to Elle, and they seem pretty well matched in the bedroom: they both like to have fun with it, so there's lots of opportunities for creativity, games, and playing with roles, that can keep things interesting, which is one reason Dean's so willing to have it be more than just a one-night fling. Her power's actually a huge turn-on to him, because after decades worth of torture in hell, he has a much different pain threshold than the average Joe - and a much different relationship to pain in general.
I think Dean's honestly worried about how much he enjoys his time with Elle. I mean, here he is in their current thread, about to tell her who he actually is - which is a huge deal to him. Claire wrought a promise out of him that he wouldn't date Elle, and he actually sort of tried to avoid giving her a straight answer at first, even though he had no intentions of 'dating' anybody. He finally gave his word, and I think it was to convince himself as much as anybody. It bothers him that there are other Deans running around in happy, functional relationships (including one that he knows is DATING an Elle, a concept which mystifies him given that neither of them are 'dating' material on the surface), because he's damn sure that while he might be able to find someone that made him happy, he wouldn't be able to maintain a real 'relationship' in the way that Sam could. His issues run remarkably deep, and his commitment to his job, and his goal of stopping the Apocalypse, come before everything. I don't think he's willing to give away the part of himself that would be necessary to really connect with someone, because he's afraid it could come between him and what he's gotta do. Anyways, that's a roundabout way of saying, that somehow this Elle thing has got his guard rails and flags and alarms raised - which just means he really likes her, on at least some level.
And it wasn't until we started this thread where she's talking to him about her past that I realized how much he's going to connect to her Daddy issues, which I find entertaining.
Ummmmmm, anything else I can add to make this insanely long? Uhhh, she makes him laugh, and he loves her confidence, and the fact that he's never quite sure what she's going to do next. I'm trying to think of stuff he doesn't like about her, and coming up short, which makes me laugh. Shortly before he met her, he'd been talking to Sam about how his life goal was to find a female version of himself and hook up with her, and I think he's done that, in Elle. And because he's so cocky, there's -not- much he's gonna find in her that's not to like, except for the same insecurities he secretly wrestles with inside himself.
Oh, and he ~totally~ likes her more than any other Elle, of course. ;)
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Re: TL;DR TIME omg.
HA, for Claire making him promised not to date her, which I find it so amusing and if Elle ever found that out...not sure what she would do. Elle is okay with it as long as they can still have sex; she is all about the nookie. She's not looking to date, anyways, but everyone she hooks up with in other verses, mainly a lot of Peter’s since they are they seem love her and be the only one in the heroes fandom that want her, tend to tie/lock her down, quickly.
They do have chemistry together; it’s good to play off when you find two people like that. Especially, like you said, with how a like they are and she's okay with being a female version of himself, she thinks he is awesome.
In addition, she just has a thing for badasses, it's a downfall, and she should I learn by now with Sylar and all, sadly, she just doesn't care.
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Dean was very clear on the terms of his promise to Claire - she doesn't care what they do, as long as he and Elle aren't swapping promise rings and doing the whole ~relationship~ thing, or whatever.
Well, at least for Elle's sake, though Dean can be a total jerk, unlike Sylar, he's a really good person at heart. So that should help. ;)
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Let's never tell Elle, because I don't know what she would do... you know how she feels about all that.
I am looking forward to see where they go as friends, this is going to be fun.
TL;DR: DEAN LOVES YOU, DUDE. (not like that B| )
How to even go about explaining this?
It is not, by any stretch of imagination, an exaggeration to say that Sam is at the very center of Dean's world. Dean's a soldier at heart, and one whose loyalty is to family, rather than flag, country, or company. Sammy's representative of the very last fort standing, to maintain the metaphor, and ever since the day when their father first put his infant brother in his arms and charged him with his protection, he's considered that a personal crusade. He'd do anything to save Sam - and not just to save his life, but more importantly, perhaps, to save his soul.
As you might imagine, Sam's recent talk of submitting to Lucifer, or killing himself, felt to Dean like an invalidation of everything he'd done to prevent that: including giving up his soul, and his life - all the time he'd spent in hell, and all the scars he still bears from that. If he allows Sam to give in to this, everything he's ever done has been in vain.
It's interesting to note that when it came down to the potential to save his mother and his father, by begging Mary to leave John in this last ep, he was willing to make an exception to his 'keep Sam alive at any cost' campaign - but once again, it goes back to his desire to save his family, and it would erase all the things Sam had suffered in his life on account of the 'curse' of their predestined roles. Plus, he respects Sam enough to know that his brother had the same right to make that decision as he did - and the fact that they'd be suffering the same fate made it different from having to watch Sam die.
I also think it's important that, thanks to Gabriel and to Dean's death, Sam has had to face the 'reality' of losing Dean and subsequently figuring out how to carry on twice, whereas Dean has never been relegated to an even comparable situation (except, of course, Future!Dean, but present!Dean's only met him. He didn't actually live it and suffer through it himself. He made the deal to sell his soul to avoid facing that situation. In all honesty, I really don't think he's capable of handling it - it would kill so much of what's left of him).
Ok, moving on from the mondo-depressing stuff. Dean sees Sam as more than just a brother - he's also his best friend. He's the one whose opinion matters the most to Dean, and he's the one he'll go to for real advice: even when he just mocks what Sam has to say and subsequently ignores it. Hey! He still asked!
Part of what I love so much about playing with your Sam is that not only is there this whole angsty-I-would-die-for-you-brother serious undercurrent to things, but also, the guys can sometimes just have so much fun together. They know each other better than any one else in the world, and Dean takes a certain degree of comfort in that. He puts up so many emotional barriers to the rest of the world, that it's actually something of a relief (and, of course, oft-times annoyance) to have someone who can see straight through so many of them. Sam understands his humor, all his quirks,
all his fucked up mental instabilitiesand he still chooses to stick around. It means a lot to Dean, who has a helluva lot of secret insecurity issues for someone so recklessly confident. Now that his father's gone, and he can't pine after his acceptance and respect, there's a part of him that absolutely needs it from Sam.PART TWO, Jesus, this got long.
On that note, no one in the world can piss Dean off as much as his brother, if only because of how much he means to him. As his older brother, he feels the constant need to look out for Sammy, and when Sam screws up, he immediately falls into the father role, feeling the need to make sure Sam learns his lesson, and knows how disappointed he is. He holds the same high standards of behavior for Sam that his dad held for them, because he takes that as part of his 'responsibility' to protect him. Because he often thrusts himself into this parental role, there are a lot of times when he doesn't automatically trust that Sam will make the right decision: he still sees him as naive about a lot of things, and he has a bit of a superiority complex about it.
There's a part of Dean that is always going to be subconsciously jealous of Sam's independence. He was jealous of the love that their father had for Sam, even when Dean was the more obedient son, and he's incredibly envious of the fact that somehow Sam can compartmentalize the 'hunter' thing, and make attempts at a normal life: college, girlfriend, career, etc. It's one of the reasons he pushed so hard to get Sam to admit he couldn't escape these things; because if he could, it meant that maybe there was something wrong with the choices Dean had made, and he didn't want to face that. Even now, Dean is immensely happy that Sam has Claire in his life, because he thinks she'll help him stay grounded on this Lucifer business - but there's a tiny part of him that is bitter about the fact that Sam can hold down a real relationship, even while they're driving around the country, doing what they do. Dean has himself thoroughly convinced that a relationship does not fit into the hunter life, and it makes him uncomfortable to have Sam prove him wrong.
And to wrap up this giant wandering elephant of text, Dean doesn't really know what to do with himself without Sam. They balance each other out, even when it's via butting heads in the worst way possible. As much horrible angst as Sam occasionally causes him (and Dean sure hates anything that makes him deal with emotion), he loves him too much to ever give up on him.
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Dean is also the center of Sammy's world. As proven in Mystery Spot, Sam's weakness is Dean. Everything could turn south because of him. He wouldn't have agreed to drinking Ruby's blood if it weren't for him not coping with Dean going to Hell.
Even though now he is a bit more independent and doesn't follow Dean around entirely like a lost puppy, like he did before Dean went to Hell, he'd still do anything for him.
In that thread, the thought of disappointing Dean like that and losing his brother and making everything they've done pointless really killed him. But he honestly thought it would be for the best. That's all he wanted, to not be selfish and think about the big picture. But only Dean can ground him and show him that it's not the right way.
Sam loves having Dean around. Before you came along, Sam didn't have a constant Dean. His Dean, so to speak. Now, he couldn't be happier. Despite the little fights and such they have, but that's just what they do as siblings. And the way they do it is in a loving, caring way. The way these two are is exactly how I would imagine them to be. They're definitely best friends as well as siblings and they play off of each other really well. Sam can't live without Dean.
Even though Sam will fight back when Dean gets in the father role and act annoyed, there's a big part of him that really appreciates it and even loves it. The person who he is now, that's all because of Dean. He wouldn't have learned half the things he knows now if it weren't for him. And the way Dean does fall into that role, it shows he really cares and wants things to be right. That means a lot to Sam.
It's funny how, even though Sam made the choice to go to college and turn his back on the family, he's also jealous of Dean. He's jealous of his loyalty to family, the way he would give up his life and everything to do what was right for his family. And the way he was so close to their dad. Even though Sam just thought he was being used as a soldier, there was that bond and love between the two of them that Sam never got. As he said in the last episode, he didn't realize how much he adored his father till he died and never got to tell him. Dean did and that kills him.
In the beginning, there was bitterness towards Dean for basically ruining his life when he came to get him to search for their dad. But that's long gone. If he didn't give up college and everything for this, he wouldn't be as close to Dean as he is now. He wouldn't have it any other way now.
He also believes that Dean deserves the best in life. When all of this is over and they're safe and happy, maybe Dean can find that perfect girl like Carmen. Sam will support him no matter what, but he believes there is something more for him. For both of them.
Also to wrap up, Sam definitely loves his brother, will do anything for him and could never live without him.
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It's really sad that Dean can't realize that so much of what Sam chose to do in Season four was because of how much it broke his usual moral compass when Dean died... but I don't think he really looks at it that way. :( Oh Sam.
And I can't tell you how happy I am to have a constant Sam, either, because it really completes Dean, as weird as that sounds, to have his brother to bounce off from. It's exactly how I imagine them, too, and it makes me enjoy the show even more, to have the rest of the week in between sort of filled in with all these daily interactions and little arguments or jokes... I don't know, I think it's awesome, and it helps me develop him so much more. ♥
As he said in the last episode, he didn't realize how much he adored his father till he died and never got to tell him. Dean did and that kills him.
:( Sammmm.
But anyways hooray Winchesters! Oh, these two.
:D
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Ok, so nobody could ever really replace what John Winchester was to Dean, so when I say that Bobby's a lot like a father figure to him, it's keeping that in perspective. I think Dean actively fought off the compulsion to react to Bobby in that capacity at first because it felt to him like a betrayal to his father. At the same time, however, I think he needed it so much, to have someone in that role, that it ended up happening anyways. It's a very different sort of relationship than the one he had with his Dad - he won't blindly follow Bobby's orders, and he doesn't feel the same deep seated need to win his respect, but he still wants it, and it still means the world to him.
Bobby getting stuck in a wheelchair was something incredibly hard for Dean to deal with, because I think he at least subconsciously recognizes that Bobby could be him in a few more decades: no wife (left alive, at least), no family, no surviving friends except the kids of dead hunter friends. The hunt is already Dean's entire life, like it's ended up being Bobby's, and when age eventually strips away the looks, the chicks, the youth, and the ability to ride around the country blasting demons and monsters all the time, it's likely Dean could grow into an equally curmudgeonly grizzled old hunter. He knows what it would be to him to be forced onto the bench - without hunting, he'd just feel like a burden on the people he knows, because it's all he sees himself as having to offer (emo tear). I think Bobby's struggle to deal with his situation terrifies Dean, and I love how he has to directly deal with facing Bobby's mortality and growing frailty in the Curious Case of Dean Winchester. I think it was just as much about facing and fighting against his own potential fate as saving Bobby from his.
Anyways, in general, Dean obviously really loves Bobby, and sees him as family. He appreciates Bobby's brutal honesty, and the fact that he's not afraid to tell the boys when they're being stupid (as in, most of the time). He loves to give him crap, because he knows he's not ever gonna hurt his feelings - they both have a tough hide, and a jerk streak a mile wide. ;D And he definitely is one of the few people Dean always trusts and knows he can rely on.
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Dean hates Sylar.
I mean, really effin' hates the guy.
But to be honest, it's more about what he represents than who he actually is. Mostly.
There's little that Dean hates more in his life than feeling powerless to protect the people he cares about. In fact, there might not be anything he hates more, and Sylar represents a living embodiment of that to him. If he does renege on his word, and end up hurting Claire, there is nothing Dean can do about it. He can hurl threats, he can shake his fist, he can wave a gun, but he knows that Claire's right: he doesn't have any weapons that can stop this guy.
It reminds him way too much of his entire situation with Lucifer.
And unlike with Lucifer, Dean has to put up with Sylar's constant presence, because of the fact that he's trying to be 'better' and that involves hanging around the good guy crowd. Dean's glad that this at least means they can keep an eye on him, but it also digs at him to have him around so much, always reminding him of his powerlessness.
The other thing about Sylar that makes Dean incredibly uncomfortable is the fact that he sees parallels to the situation Sam was in too: his brother gave into the dark side of his powers, did horrible things with them, and, as Dean put it, became the sort of thing that Dean would hunt if he didn't actually know him. So that's why Dean was so willing to have a grown up conversation with this guy he can't stand about overcoming those inner demons, and showing the people around him that he can be better than that. Because Dean recognizes, thanks to the Sammy situation, that there's a person in there, somewhere, not just the sort of monster that he can kill and make go away (as much as he wishes it could be that easy).
All in all, I find it a really interesting dynamic to have in Dean's life, and I find their personalities fun to bounce off each other, because as you mentioned, they're both jerks, and I think they respect that in each other.
Now that Elle's told Dean all about her role in making Sylar into what he became, and what he did to her, I think it's going to further complicate Dean's attitude towards him. But it also does it make it less likely that they'll ever be friends, per se, because Dean knows how much that would hurt Elle (and he's only heard her side of that story now). Honestly, when Sam made steps to get to know Sylar, or even when he drank with him the other week, it felt like a betrayal to Dean, who thinks they should treat him like a bomb about to go off, more than some guy they can pal around with on the weekends.
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But seriously I think that's a completely understandable position for Dean to take. As much as it would break Sylar's delicate princess heart to know he was flat-out hated so much when he hasn't done anything to Dean personally, so he'd feel like it was ~based on nothing~.
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Ok, Future Cas.
I think that Dean's general reaction to him just has to be 'oooookkaaayy' 99.9% of the time, because if he thinks about it too hard, it just makes him upset. I mean, Dean loves Castiel to death, even when his angel-ness is occasionally annoying, and the thought that his and Sam's choices could take Cas and rip him so far away from who he really is scares the shit out of Dean. However, if he doesn't take him seriously at all, then he doesn't have to face up to that. He can just be like that sitcom neighbor who everyone rolls their eyes about but loves at the same time.
No matter what weird things Future-Cas says or does, Dean's still always going to treat him as a friend, and do what he can to avoid hurting his feelings, because he's still Cas. He feels something of a responsibility for the guy, given that, y'know, he gave up everything, largely on account of Dean, and he obviously hasn't adjusted to this whole humanity thing very... healthily.
Unlike other people, he doesn't see too much damage in Cas wanted to take part in dozens of orgies or whatever, but he has no idea what to make of the weird spiritualism/hippie crap, and he doesn't really think the drugs are probably the best idea, but he's never gonna get on Cas' case about it.
He has no idea how he ended up outside of time and back here, but he can tell that Cas doesn't really worry about it (maybe because his brain is all but fried), so neither will he. And he's definitely gonna live up to that drinking night promise, one of these days.
This week turned out to not be so good for that...
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Sammy Sammy Sammy.
How to even go about explaining this?
It is not, by any stretch of imagination, an exaggeration to say that Sam is at the very center of Dean's world. Dean's a soldier at heart, and one whose loyalty is to family, rather than flag, country, or company. Sammy's representative of the very last fort standing, to maintain the metaphor, and ever since the day when their father first put his infant brother in his arms and charged him with his protection, he's considered that a personal crusade. He'd do anything to save Sam - and not just to save his life, but more importantly, perhaps, to save his soul.
As you might imagine, any time Sam gets close to feeling like he should give in to Lucifer feels to Dean like an invalidation of everything he's done to prevent that: including giving up his soul, and his life - all the time he'd spent in hell, and all the scars he still bears from that. If he allows Sam to give in to this, everything he's ever done has been in vain. He'll even hop on a freakin' helicopter to who knows where in the middle of the night if it means there's even the remotest damn chance of learning something or anything about how there could be another way.
It's interesting to note that when it came down to the potential to save his mother and his father, by begging Mary to leave John in this last ep, he was willing to make an exception to his 'keep Sam alive at any cost' campaign - but once again, it goes back to his desire to save his family, and it would erase all the things Sam had suffered in his life on account of the 'curse' of their predestined roles. Plus, he respects Sam enough to know that his brother had the same right to make that decision as he did - and the fact that they'd be suffering the same fate made it different from having to watch Sam die.
I also think it's important that, thanks to Gabriel and to Dean's death, Sam has had to face the 'reality' of losing Dean and subsequently figuring out how to carry on twice, whereas Dean has never been relegated to an even comparable situation (except, of course, Future!Dean, but present!Dean's only met him. He didn't actually live it and suffer through it himself. He made the deal to sell his soul to avoid facing that situation. In all honesty, I really don't think he's capable of handling it - it would kill so much of what's left of him).
Ok, moving on from the mondo-depressing stuff. Dean sees Sam as more than just a brother - he's also his best friend. He's the one whose opinion matters the most to Dean, and he's the one he'll go to for real advice: even when he just mocks what Sam has to say and subsequently ignores it. Hey! He still asked!
Just like with Jaki's Sam, I know it's not all angst and horror all the time between these two (though I feel like our Sam and Dean get more of the dark side of things than my other set... lol, maybe we're just sado-masochistic or something). They know each other better than any one else in the world, and Dean takes a certain degree of comfort in that. He puts up so many emotional barriers to the rest of the world, that it's actually something of a relief (and, of course, oft-times annoyance) to have someone who can see straight through so many of them. Sam understands his humor, all his quirks, all his fucked up mental instabilities and he still chooses to stick around. It means a lot to Dean, who has a helluva lot of secret insecurity issues for someone so recklessly confident. Now that his father's gone, and he can't pine after his acceptance and respect, there's a part of him that absolutely needs it from Sam.
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There's a part of Dean that is always going to be subconsciously jealous of Sam's independence. He was jealous of the love that their father had for Sam, even when Dean was the more obedient son, and he's incredibly envious of the fact that somehow Sam can compartmentalize the 'hunter' thing, and make attempts at a normal life: college, girlfriend, career, etc. It's one of the reasons he pushed so hard to get Sam to admit he couldn't escape these things; because if he could, it meant that maybe there was something wrong with the choices Dean had made, and he didn't want to face that.
And to wrap up this giant wandering elephant of text, Dean doesn't really know what to do with himself without Sam. They balance each other out, even when it's via butting heads in the worst way possible. As much horrible angst as Sam occasionally causes him (and Dean sure hates anything that makes him deal with emotion), he loves him too much to ever give up on him.
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LOL I realized that I really don't even know what to add, since, well, that covers like everything I can think of off the top of my head about how I see the boys, and we've already talked about them out of game enough to realize that we're on the same wavelength~ about their relationship. Which on an OOC note is one of the things I love about you so much, and one of the reasons I was so eager to pick up Dean at CH with you. ♥ I think we've picked up the boys at a really interesting canon point, where they're really moving towards healing their relationship, but still dealing with so many things that they don't really have the time to focus on that.
IDK, if there's anything else you want me to talk about, let me know. XD
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Ok. So Buffy. Like you said, I think it's pretty ideal that they met in a competitively charged environment, because it really turned him off from an immediate thoughts of 'this chick is hot', as she annoyed the crap out of him too. ;) But nothing made him more frustrated then when Other-Dean told him they were dating... and the way he talked about her.
One of the things that always subconsciously bugs Dean so much about Buffy, that he'd never ever actually bring up, is the fact that there's a part of him that is completely baffled by (and more than a little jealous of) Other-Dean's relationship with her. Because the first time he talked about her to him, he was just so happy. Satisfied. Content. Smug without being egotistical about it.
It scared the shit out of Dean.
My Dean's too screwed up inside to come anywhere near making a connection like that to somebody else, and so he's constantly wondering what the catch is when he sees other Deans who are happily able to find that with somebody. I think in particular he wondered if there was just something about Buffy that allowed Other-Dean to do so anyways, which is why this last week, even though he knew it'd probably make things awkward with THIS Buffy, he didn't say no when the other one wanted to hook up. In evidence of his expert grasp on relationships, there was some small part of him that figured maybe even if he just had fleeting sex with a Buffy, he could learn what it was about her that made loving her possible - something that could help him with his own emotional handicaps. He didn't actually want her - he just wanted to know how to even begin to feel something again. Of course, that's probably the stupidest plan anyone on earth has ever cooked up, and it didn't work - it was just sex, like any other sex, and it left him feeling like he was on a completely different planet from slightly more well-adjusted Deans. I actually really liked how this tied into the newest episode, because that would have happened the day before the events of it: and after meaningless sex failed to provide him the solace he really needed and was hoping for, it only made sense for him to just ... not even want to bother with it for awhile. It brought out a great deal of neuroses in him.
But anyways, Dean doesn't actually know what the hell a Vampire Slayer is, because no one has ever told him. He's been working under the assumption that she's a) a hunter, like him and Sam and Jo, and b) has a power, much like Claire, that gives her his strength. I should go and tag that thread where he's asking her about it, because, well, he actually should know these things. XD Either way, she's like a lot of the strong, opinionated women in his life: he respects the hell out of that in a girl.
Also, he really does like picking her on just as much as she likes teasing him, and I think they could definitely be friends, after he gets over the weird 'I just slept with your double' thing. Give him a week or so.
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Don't get me started on the latest episode, because it broke my heart. Although, I really like the tiny similarities I see of Whedonland leaking through. It makes me a bit giddy.
You already know how else Buffy feels, and I am also slowly working through my tags. <3
Anna!
As evidenced by the conversation our Dean and Anna had prior to that, Anna's one of the only few angels that Dean willingly trusts, or even likes. And by very few, I mean one of two. It's obviously not the same level as his friendship with Cas, but I think he still always recognized her as 'on their side' all this time, and so it came as a big punch to the gut when she was willing to do what she did. Dealing with Annas after the fact is rough, but he's hoping that he can prevent them from doing the same thing if they're from a timeline before it happened. Having been told that they were coerced into doing this in heaven, he feels like he can see a parallel to his break in Hell, agreeing to do something he was morally opposed to.
Other than that, Dean respects Anna, he really does, for making the break from heaven, but he has a hard time understanding her motivations, exactly. He really did relate to her most on their one night together when he realized that the angel's father was so much to them like his was to him. He obviously finds her attractive, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't think it was hot to have sex with a divine being. ;D
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Dean's feelings towards Jo exist on two levels. On one hand, as I've made clear, his contact with her is now constantly colored by the fact that he's already had to deal with her dying, and he blames himself for it. It's not particularly the most rational response, at all, but he's never particularly been rational anyways. And he pretty much blatantly lied to her when he tried to protest that he didn't always see that other Jo when he looked at her: he does.
But on the other hand, she's pretty much his escapism, his walking second chance to make things right. To save somebody. Somebody who's family to him.
Speaking of which, I think it's necessary to explain why Dean sees her that way, because to be honest, they haven't really known each other that long or ... spent that much time together comparatively, and he still sees her as something like a sister. It's not really so much to do with her youth, or maturity, actually, because those preconceptions dissolved by the time 5x10 came around. What it's actually the result of is Dean's entire perspective on ... women.
It's important to note that he's never had a persistent female figure in his life. Ever. Not since his mother died. And when it comes to any attractive girls he meets, he presents every single one of them with a front. They have no idea who he really is, and he doesn't have to reconcile that, he can just... play up the illusion. He's made that part of the excitement, and the game, and it also allows him to not take any of them seriously, and not make real connections to them. He broke the wall once, with Cassie, only to have it thrown back in his face.
He meets Jo on more equal ground, however. She immediately gets to know who and what he is, since the hunter life is part of hers, and understand everything that encompasses. He can't hide those things from her, and he doesn't know how to look at her as a woman because of that fact. People in his life who know about who and what he is (really know, not just find out incidentally, without understanding completely), that he interacts with more than on business occasions, are immediately thrust into that family circle, in his head. So even though Dean can acknowledge on one level that Jo's an attractive girl, there's this weird block there that prevents him from crossing that line. What I see as changing this in 5x10 is that by this time in the series, post-hell, he's been forced to at least subconsciously face the fact that he seriously dehumanizes women, that he can't connect to any of these one night stands, and... there's a part of him that is really beginning to just need to find and make a real connection, because he's so afraid that he can't. It doesn't really have so much to do with Jo herself at that point, it's just... she's a girl, who really knows him, and he puts it out there, and that's actually... a huge step for him.
Annnd he gets shot down again, which... doesn't do much to really help him out on that front (but it's really for the best that Jo ... said no, because it wouldn't have really meant what Dean was hoping it could; he's just sort of delusional at moments).
Anyways, on a positive note. He respects the hell out of the girl, and loves teasing her, bantering with her, etc. He feels insanely protective of her, like anyone in his 'family'. She gets his sense of humor, and doesn't take his crap, and that's precisely what he really needs in a friend. He feel like he owes this Jo for what... future!Jo did, too. I know, it's ten layers of fucked up. :/
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Claire, please!
Carmen!
The truth is, it's not that there is any specific trait of Carmen that makes her Dean's 'dream girl'. She's composed of everything he subconsciously thinks he wants, but he's too screwed up to really know what he needs. So she's a beer ad girl - a sexy nurse - a woman in whose eyes he can't do wrong.
Either way, giving up his relationship with her in the dream world - that secure romantic connection to a woman who honestly really loves him in spite of his myriad flaws - was painfully difficult for him. Because one of the reasons he so desperately wants this is that in reality, he fully believes that a) he doesn't deserve it and b) it will never be practical with his lifestyle. He can't offer a woman security, because his entire life is the polar opposite of secure. He's seen how hunting haunted his mother's life even after she got away from it. He's afraid of that happening to his family - to the people he'd love the most.
Meeting Carmen in the real world was therefore really shocking to him, and he doesn't know how to deal with it. He wants to believe that she'd always be his dream girl, but in that dream life he wasn't the same person he is here. He wasn't a hunter, and without that, he feels like he has nothing to offer anyone. He doesn't know who he is without that life, and all the crazy baggage attached.
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Let's get this out there first, before I say things that make it sound otherwise: Dean loves Claire. He really loves her. As a sister. As part of their family unit. She's in, now, and she has his loyalty completely, so no matter who threatens her, he will always be there to protect her. That's how he rolls.
At first though, he was really wary of her. And especially of Sam's sudden declaration of love for the girl. He thought Sam was on the fast-track to getting hurt, and let's face it, he was just plain jealous. For years now, his life has revolved around Sam and vice versa. It's weird for it to not be like that anymore. It kind of bothers him, because Sam's his only real connection to his Dad, who is like THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER TO DEAN'S LIFE.
But that's the exact same thing that caused Dean to get over his issues: his love for Sam. He is so grateful to Claire for giving Sammy something to make him really happy in a healthy way that connects him to this world, that he feels like he could never repay her for that. Ever. Because his biggest wish is to save Sam, and she's helping do that in ways he can't. Because he's not gay for his brother, okay.
Claire's personality absolutely baffles Dean, though. He's never ever had to deal with fitting a girl into his life that he wasn't, at least on some subconscious level, thinking about fucking, at least once in awhile. He's never had a real sister sister. And he has NO IDEA how to deal with teenage girls' emotions, because he's always been able to just leave when young girls get emotional on him.
Now he has to face up to it. And it's a challenge even he cannot overcome. It's one reason it's so easy for her to manipulate him: he's afraid of what's going to happen if he doesn't give in. He literally thinks Claire is capable of maybe destroying the world with one of her temper tantrums and crying fits. He just can't take it. It scares the shit out of him. It's even worse now that there are two of her around and he never knows what stupid thing he says will set them off next.
Because of this, sometimes Claire frustrates and annoys the fucking shit out of him. Like he literally wants to strangle her at times, because despite appearances, he's a very selfless person and her teenage selfishness has the tendency to irk the shit out of him. He simultaneously wishes she had some fucking perspective on the shit he and Sam have been through, and wants her to have no idea and continue to think it's the end of the world when no one will listen to her for five minutes.
So basically, Claire has the magical ability to get Dean to do anything she wants. But it's not just because she annoys him. He also finds her really easy to actually talk to, which is why she's the first person he told about the whole Apocalypse thing. He really does trust her. But he didn't even think about what a bad position he was putting her in with Sam. Because on top of his inner selfless person is a selfish person who has issues.
PART TWO
Because Claire reminds him of ... his mom.
Literally. He's hung out with her, relatively recently. He knows what she was like as a younger girl.
And he sees that in Claire - this tough girl who won't take no for an answer, but is really a sweet, good person who's just had to deal with this incredibly weird, hard life.
So this is why he... has respect for Claire. In spite of her tantrums.
:3 It's a big compliment, ok. (SHE EVEN LOOKS LIKE HER, THAT'S ALSO IMPORTANT).
Re: PART TWO
I think it's funny because Claire's really jealous of Dean in a lot of ways too because even though she's like "that's dumb they're brothers" she's still just like BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT ME AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SPEND 24/7 WITH SAM. She feels a lot like she encroaches on what they have and it kills her but at the same time she wants to like ... further butt her way into it. She's jealous that Dean gets to see this side of Sam that she never gets to with all of the hunting shit and it's like ... she feels as though she can't ever know him as well as Dean does so he's just this THREAT!! even though he's ... not at all threatening her position in Sam's life. I am William Shatner.
Lmfao IDEK what to say about her teenage girl feelings except that she ... has a lot of them. She really does consciously appreciate that Dean takes the time to like try and deal with them and she subconsciously appreciates that he knows exactly how to. Even when he's blowing them off, he does it in the way that she knows she needs to hear and that frustrates her in the same way that it frustrates her when she's trying to pick a fight with Sam and he just goes "okay."
Dean is second only to Sylar (above Sam, even!) on people that Claire could talk to about anything. Yeah, I know, it's a weird fucking progression, but guess what? Shit happens. Seriously, Claire feels like he just understands her better than just about anyone (other than Sylar obvs because Sylar has ... an ability that makes him understand people) and it makes her really open to telling him things as evidenced by ... those voicemails I guess lmfao. Stuff that she'd be afraid of affecting Sam's opinion of her it's easier to tell Dean because she knows that no matter what she does it won't be terrible enough to make him think less of her, partially because she now knows how much he guilts himself about the shit he's done, and partially because she's sure he just gets it. Even if he didn't like it, he'd get it.
That said, she's probably going to return the favor of telling secrets that need to be hidden from Sam pretty soon here when she confesses to Dean that she got Matt Parkman to mind control people into not only not rioting, but actually switching sides of this whole mutant shit. Yeah. Dean gets to enjoy that she took away people's free will.
AWWW the fact that she reminds him of his mom is actually something I put in my FST thing for AmityDean/Claire and I'm so glad that it's the same here because I find it really endearing. If she ever heard that she'd probably just be like well that's weird in the same way that Sam is like Peter and that's just ... kind of weird but whatever. She doesn't get Dean's mommy issues fully, okay.
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and figured if she wasn't, he wouldn't have to stick around and face the consequences; yes, he has no soul.But between her confidence and living arrangements, he pegged her as a college girl. He had a lot of fun on their one night stand together, and then planned to never see her again. Standard procedure.So when he ran into her again so soon, it took him off guard completely. Since he was hunting a demon, he immediately kicked into paranoia mode, and had to play hero and protect her. So they hooked up for a second time, which, while unusual for him, was not entirely without precedent in his life for a one-night stand girl.
And then she kept showing up. Normally, he might have worried she was stalking him or a demon or something, but that's what was so cool about Brooke: she never tries too hard with him. It's all very casual, which makes it possible for him to take it more than casually, subconsciously. I know - he doesn't make any sense at all. He's a man, ok? Give him a break.
Anyways, blame what happened next on there being Claires in his life: he'd finally had to learn how to deal with women and friends and stuff on at least a minor level, and Claire had become good friends with Brooke... so he accepted that they were just going to keep running into each other. And, being a dude, he assumed they'd just keep hooking up, since she didn't get clingy or suspicious on him.
So those are his... conscious justifications of their relationship as it stands. But there's more to it than that, too. As Claire so astutely pointed out, asking Brooke to hang out and watch one of his favorite movies with him was a lot more like a real date than... pretty much anything he does, ever. He just doesn't do that stuff with girls. And to be honest, he... liked it, even if they didn't really watch the movie so much. He avoids thinking about this as much as possible, because it gets him all defensive about it, but a part of him likes pretending, just sometimes, just for moments, that he's a normal guy and Brooke's his normal girlfriend, and that she could just like him for who he is. The problem is whenever he catches himself thinking or feeling this, or when someone points it out to him (
CLAIRE), it sets all his alarms off, and he pushes it away emotionally. "I don't want a relationship" is what he says, "I can't have a relationship" is how he reasons it to himself, and "I don't deserve a relationship" is what he actually feels deep in his emo heart.no subject
As for what Dean actually likes about Brooke - the same thing you said about their flirty/sexual behavior: he respects that she's adventurous without being crazy, and that sometimes she'll give in to his deranged ideas and sometimes she'll stand her ground. He likes strong women, and hes never seen her display real emotional weakness. He wouldn't mind if she did occasionally, I'm not sayin' that, but she's at least shown she's got a better handle on her emotions than, say, Claire. She strikes him as somebody who'll fight for what she wants, and most likely win. He likes her sense of humor, and she seems to dig his - and she gets along with the most important people in his life, which matters a lot to him. But damn, if he wasn't jealous and confused when she was calling Sam the other day. (It doesn't have to be rational, alright?) It makes him nervous for Brooke to have bonds to his family, because it might result in her a) finding out the truth and b) getting drawn into danger.
He was being totally honest on the anon post about that : he'd feel guiltier than he could explain if he drew her into his world. She's honestly his way of keeping one foot out of it, right now. Finding out Jo was going to teach her how to shoot pissed him off because it was like Jo was as good as admitting that eventually Brooke would have to deal with this stuff. But if Brooke's determined to do it anyways, he's going to make sure that he's the one teaching her, because... he's the best there is. And then he can know that she's had the best training, and sleep better at night.
I can't explain how big of a dick he feels about this owl thing. And he feels entirely cornered because he doesn't think he can tell her he was love-spelled without raising lots of weird questions he isn't prepared to answer. I still don't know how he's going to deal with it, because he's been forcing himself not to think about it, and just concentrate on finishing the job.
Dean has absolutely no idea that Brooke is jealous of Elle, by the way, even though she made it obvious in the one conversation : these things go straight over his head. He has this magical ability to compartmentalize. When he's with one girl, he's with her, and not thinking of other ones. So he doesn't really think about how one of them might affect the other. It's screwed up.
Also, it meant a lot to him to be able to talk to her about his dad, even if... he had to lie about the specifics. :3 He appreciates hugs more than he ever lets on.
OK I AM TIRED AND OUT OF THINGS TO SAY FOR NOW I THINK. Basically, Dean ruins everything, but there's a chance, a real chance, he could actually let her into his heart, though it'll depend on how things go. He's pretty much an emotional house of cards, and it only takes one slip up to make it tumble down, and have him just withdraw completely, like a jerk. ... It's so obvious why the women love him.
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First: She strikes him as somebody who'll fight for what she wants, and most likely win. That, and so many other things you said about her and what Dean's noticed, is amazing and like the highest compliment ever, because that's her. On the show, that's her. She fights for what she wants, she gives off this totally emotionally-put-together vibe, even when she's falling apart, and she's just... everything you said, basically. So I'm really glad that's all coming across. :D
Second: Of course he'd just assume he wouldn't have to deal with consequences. He's Dean. I can forgive him for a lot of his faults like that one.
Third: I seriously have no idea how Brooke will react to the truth of Dean and Sam's lives. I think she's going to react a little worse than she did finding out about Claire because the majority of the demon-hunting is all bad shit. With Claire, it wasn't danger and the end of the world; it was just the ability to survive forever. I think the idea of there being ghosts and demons and shit is going to scare Brooke, and I think she's going to ignore Dean for a while until she figures out if she really wants to be part of that.
Fourth: I love that Dean was jealous and confused about the phone call. I was really hoping he'd answer, actually, and am glad you guys did that. :D I love how determined is he to keep her in the dark, too, because it does mean he cares. Even if she'll never realize that.
Fifth: Yeah, the owl thing will be tricky. But also fun!
Sixth: Brooke is definitely jealous of Elle. And if she was honest with herself, she's realize that she's jealous of Claire and Sam and Cas - who she still only knows as the guy who was baking pies for Dean, fyi. She just wants to feel like he trusts/cares about her enough to share shit.
And she will always be available for hugs. Unless she's upset with him.
I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THE AWESOME OF THIS. &hearts
DOLPHIN CLAIRE
It surprises no one more than Dean that over a period of weeks, Claire's become one of his best friends. What made it so easy for him to fall into the habit of being that comfortable with her was both the fact that she was another Claire and he was already growing close to the one, and the fact that this was wasn't dating his brother. He was already familiar with the general ins and outs of Claires, so she didn't scare him off with feelings and hugs and mood swings, and he didn't have to worry about getting too close to her and making Sam jealous.
As much as Dean loves Zebra, and he does, he really looks at Dolphin as the saner of the two, and is relieved that it's Sam who has to deal with Zebra's crazier moments. In Dolphin, Dean sees somebody else who doesn't want drama and that's why he was got so fond of spending time with her - he could talk about stuff without compromising his manliness (since she was a chick), he didn't have to think about seducing her (since she was the 'same' as his brother's girlfriend and that would be weird for everybody), and he didn't have to worry about her bringing drama into his life (because she was trying to avoid that with all her little heart). It was the perfect recipe for friendship with a girl, and a new concept to him entirely. He really did treasure their fishing time, and its one of the only instances in which he's been able to come close to actually relaxing awhile since he came back from Hell.
He works under the assumption that she knows as much as Zebra about him and Sam, which isn't true at all, but despite what he claims, he sometimes does transfer things unconsciously from one to another. He did this a lot at first, but much less now: he thinks of them as two full individuals, except for the fact that they share almost all the same memories and experiences. So yeah, that confuses the shit out of him. But he really doesn't want to be judged by or compared to other versions of himself he's met, so he tries really hard not to do it to others.
Dean rocks a pretty big protective streak for Dolphin, even more so than for Zebra, because a) Zebra has Sam watching out for her, b) he sees Dolphin as more innocent and c) even though he thinks she's crazier, he also thinks Zebra is tougher. He sees that Dolphin kind of gets left behind on things, and it makes him want to watch out for her all the more. He'd pretty much kill anybody who fucked with her, who wasn't an... immortal Greek God (I'm sure he tried though). Or y'know, teleport cross country to beat them up and taser their security guards. :3 He's determined that no one is going to ruin her, or darken her. It'd be sweet, if he weren't also so crazy. (It's like that Coheed and Cambria song, ok?)
2/2 - this icon was uploaded just for fishing trip btw
Aside from all that, Dean really does appreciate everything she does for him - he's not used to someone taking care of him, or mothering him, or being concerned about the state of his heart and happiness so openly, and he bends towards it like a flower towards light (bear with my stupid analogy), because he doesn't find it threatening from Claire. Like I said on the other Claire's response, which largely applies to Dolphin too in the general terms so go read that also, she reminds him so much of his mom that it's scary. And that's why he loves and respects her so much.
Re: 2/2 - this icon was uploaded just for fishing trip btw
I just love their bro/sibling/whatever it is relationship so much, and since I'm going to be doing this meme again soon, I'm not going to write an essay here.
BUT thank you for taking the time to write so much, it all made me smile, especially the inclusion of my Coheed & Cambria song that I love for them. It warmed my little black heart.
ALSO. I've always wanted to say but never have had a place to without sounding creepy, but I hope I never come across as being pushy or anything in having Claire like him. Given how she is with Peter, I always thought it'd make sense for her to have a crush on a guy that she hero worships as much as she does with Dean, but I never wanted to make you uncomfortable by it, because you always have so much poon after Dean's ass and I always go 'hnnnn'. BUT CLAIRE WILL EVENTUALLY MOVE OUT OF HER DEAN PHASE.
Too bad she's going to end up telling him her ~feelings~ before that happens.
And yeah, this kinda turned into an essay anyways.
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I love it toooo.
<333
Also, don't worry ever about bein' creepy. I love you and I trust you for one, and for two, there was actual... character development behind her having a thing for Dean, that makes me love it to death and it breaks my heart all the time, I'm ngl. I love them and their little romance-that-cannot-be. :3 So no, she's not like more-annoying-poon, she's actually a really greatly developed romantic type interest, and it's awesome, A+.
and omg I can't even think about how that's going to go. :c
I LOVE YOUR ESSAYS AND YOUR ENRIQUE.
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And Anya.
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Even though... they haven't actually really met, lmao, which I didn't even realize until I was reading about Molly
's new crushhelping find Dean, they've still interacted enough that Molly's become absolutely Dean's favorite kid in the world, aside from only Ben (for reasons we've pretty thoroughly hashed over). And I think it's because he relates to so much of her - stuff he doesn't even know the details of, but that manifests in her personality and her perspective on the world. Molly's so much older than her years, because of both everything she's been through, and because the adults in her life have been major failures, so she's had to learn an insane degree of self reliance. All this comes out in her demeanor, her self possession, the way she interacts with adults as equals (or... sometimes than less than equals). And I think that from even the little he knows about Molly's actual story, he can can piece together subconsciously that she has abandonment issues out the wazoo, and there's nothing he can relate to more.So it's one reason Dean... likes to talk to her - as in actually talk, because he knows she can handle it, while at the same time, he tries to be careful with her (though he often fails). He never got to have a real childhood, because he was forced to confront a world full of darkness and monsters from age four on, and he wants to do his small part to preserve some light in her world without babying her. It's why he actually feels really bad when he screws that up by saying things he shouldn't. He just has a really skewed radar on what's comforting and what's not, and how to deal with kids. Sorry, Molly.
Anyways, Dean loves taking care of people so... Molly's becoming another of those people he really loves to protect. She's just gonna have to deal with that. He has an insane amount of respect for her, and he also just plain likes her, because she's an awesome kid who shares his love of AC/DC and all things cool.
And ooc, their interactions are some of my favorite things ever. :3
And I'm sure if Dean ever got closer with Molly's Elle, he'd start entertaining retarded family notions about them too.no subject
Even if I kinda ship Ben/Molly just because LMFAO REALLY THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS OKAY.And Dean is one of the few that she...respects as an equal. Like, Zebra and Dolphin go back to back from being role models, equals, and....not so much equals where Molly wants to just lead them by the hand and take care of them. And from what she knows of Sam, he kind of whines, so he's a possible adult to adopt. But Dean, for all his comforting!fail, is actually...a kindred spirit which she respects. Micah is too, of course, but while they both are very perspective, Molly's a bit more intuitive and and thinks outside the box while Micah is more logical.Micah is Spock. With a curly fro.And....their interactions are the best ever okay. From discussing if Sylar is on the rag, to if Peter is pregnant--much to Dean's horror--or not, to music, to crazy people to...supporting the baby's head when you drag it out of the car LMAO.
... LMFAO omg so many broken people trying to fix each other :pno subject