[Log] we're singin' halleluja | and the edge in your affection broke my skin

[likedillinger]

Who: Dean and Claire Bennet (excheerleader )
What:  In which the cracks in Dean's armor start to really shine through, and he fulfills Cassandra's prophecy.
When:  Tuesday, post Dark Side of the Moon, immediately segueing in from this convo where Dean talks to Claire about heaven.
Where:  New York City, NY ; Dean's motel room
Note:  Banner made for me by marshgammon
Verse:  Brave New World

Dean had been pacing the length of the motel room restlessly as they spoke about Heaven, but he halted when Claire suggested they grab a beer instead of even bothering trying to respond to his statement that God had told them to give up.  He was immensely grateful that she didn't seem about to try to push him into reinterpreting the message into something it obviously wasn't: there was just no way to spin Joshua's message into something positive.  It'd been a slap in the face on every damn level.

Yesterday had just been one of those after another.

"Yeah, I grabbed some yesterday."  Before I got shot in the chest, he thought to himself with a grimace, as he headed towards the mini-fridge, and pulled out two bottles.  He held one out to her and cracked the lid off his own, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and finding a spot on the wall to stare at for a moment with furrowed brow.

"Anyway, it was... a helluva day," he finally said, following a moment where neither of them spoke.  After another pause, he chuckled.  "Ok, maybe bad choice of words."

Comments

[likedillinger.livejournal.com]

Dean tried to imagine for a second the possibility of himself reaching an older age down the line without getting killed first, and both Claires still looking exactly the way they did now. Sam would sure as hell come out looking creepy in that equation. He wished it could be a funnier hypothetical situation.

Once again, his need for validation caused his heart to squeeze with pride a bit when she assured him he was a "good son", and he tried to pretend it didn't affect him, but his fingers tightened a bit more through hers.

"Dad came back," he said quietly. "I don't know though. The way things were up there, I don't think it's likely." The truth was he didn't want to get his hopes up. There was no point.

"Plus, I wouldn't want her to have to take care of me, Claire. I can take care of myself." There was a hint of annoyance there, though he obviously didn't mean it.

[cheerleader]

"I know you can take care of yourself, but you need someone to..." What did he really need her around to do? Well sit and talk, obviously, but did he really need her around for anything other than that? Probably not, but she liked to think that he did, just because it made her feel better, and made her feel as if she actually had some kind of purpose in existing.

"Sometimes I think that it's my job to watch after you, you know? Like...it's my reason for being around, other than balancing out Zebra. I know you don't need it, but I definitely do. So just put up with it, okay?"

She looked down at their hands, and then back up at his face, and realized just how intimate this moment really was. This part was almost worse than the fact that there had been kissing, because he was almost more personal, and much more revealing. She felt terrible, because it couldn't ever be anything more than just this, but he was telling her so much that it made it all bittersweet.

"And I'm not going to give up hope that your mom will come back. I know that you want her, and you need her back. Even if you're too stubborn to admit it would be nice to have her still cut the crusts off your sandwiches."