likedillinger | Entries tagged with fanmix

Fandom | Supernatural
Subject | Dean Winchester (

likedillinger) / Jo Harvelle (

incaution) and their lives, past, present, and future (???), at

counted_stars
Title | Borrowed Time
Notes | This is a megamix of 71 songs, because I'm trying to help Brandi rebuild her music collection. ... But also because I had that many songs. :| Faux cover art by

saria.

Borrowed Time
a Dean/Jo in space mix
by

dancinpenguins

Ok, that's not the actual cover art.

... But it should be.

Part I : Back Home

Dean and Jo's lives back home,
including the two years she lived that Dean hasn't.

Trouble Is a Friend | Lenka
Trouble he will find you no matter where you go

Jo's POV. This song has a pretty light-hearted tone, which I really wanted
to represent the banter-heavy early days when Jo & Dean first met.
However, as funny as it might be to think of Dean being walking trouble,
there's a bittersweet reality to the fact that it's the sort of trouble that's going to
wind up lethal for Jo in the end.

Guys Like Me | Aimee Mann
For every player there's a pay-off in the final reel; but never with guys like me

Dean's POV. Dean's 'reputation' and Jo's experience with fly-by night hunter guys
trying to hook up with her are important factors in their interactions back home, in that
they set the stage for Jo's own uncertainty about exactly how much Dean is capable of
respecting her, and for Dean's issues with thinking of Jo as a viable romantic candidate,
seeing as how she's someone who actually has an idea of who he is, rather than just what
"front he fashions". There's a part of Dean that really doesn't think he's capable of
not being one of "those guys" anymore, after his commitment failure in the past,
but the way Jo's completely unimpressed by the part of him that puts on that facade
gives him some moments of self-awareness, particularly about the way he treats women.

Stuck On You | Paramore
I claimed i didn't care for you, but your verse got trapped inside my head, over & over again

Jo's POV. I love the steady, driving, hypnotic beat of this, and the attitude in it.
It's a simple enough concept: Jo didn't want to fall for Dean, but he managed to
get under her skin in a way that only got worse and worse over time. Even early on,
the seeds were planted for Jo finding herself subconsciously waiting for Dean
to wake up and see her for what she could be to him.

Just a Little Girl | Trading Yesterday
All of this is all that I can take, and you could never understand the demons that I face

Dean's POV. Jo had a difficult struggle with the fact that her attitude and her role in
the hunter's world made her into a "little sister" figure in Dean's life. It was easier for him to
see her as a kid, who had no idea what kind of things he and Sam really had to deal with,
than to think of her as a woman, because he didn't have any female figures in his life who
were in a position to actually get to know him, and had no idea how to even go about
integrating a chick who did into his worldview. I tl;dr'ed about this exact thing here long ago.

Fire and Rain | Mat Kearney
I heard you were back in town, heard you were comin' round,
tryin' to get off the ground from every road you went down

Jo's POV. This is based on Jo's sentiments here about when and how she fell for Dean,
and the impact of his rolling back into her life after she'd heard he was dead. No matter
how crazy things keep getting, she still thinks about him, and wonders about what could be there.

Flying High | Jem
You can't know how much I think about you, it's making my head spin

Jo's POV. The night before her death, when Dean made a move on her, only to get
turned down, was all about Jo's self-respect, and really was the healthier choice for both of them.
It wasn't that Jo didn't want Dean - of course she did - but that wasn't how she wanted him.
Not only that, but it really did give Dean a stronger sense of respect for her, and once again
served to separate her in his head from all those barsluts who would give it up to him without
a second thought.

Maybe | Kelly Clarkson
I don't wanna be tough and I don't wanna be proud, but I don't need to be fixed
and I certainly don't need to be found; I'm not lost

Both POVs, really, though primarily Jo's. This is my FAVORITE SONG OF EVER, ok,
so feel honored for getting it. It's my absolute favorite song for them too, period.
All the lines about their flaws fit them both perfectly, and more importantly,
the way they're both damaged and both always in the wrong place, wrong time for each other.
As much as Jo tried to hold onto a quiet hope that maybe some day Dean could actually
return her feelings in some real way, they were both deprived of any more possibilities
by her early death. But luckily for CS Jo & Dean, maybe has the chance to become a reality
for them both, on the other side, and she holds onto those sentiments even when they wind up
in another galaxy. EVERY LINE IN THIS SONG MAKES ME BAW LIKE A GIRL.

Russian Roulette | Rihanna
take a breath, take it deep, calm yourself, he says to me

Jo's POV, re: her last moments. See this video for shit that makes Arden cry.

Part II: A Galaxy Far, Far Away

Dean and Jo, both fresh from death by hellhound, though 1 year removed
from each other back home, arrive together in the Star Wars universe.
While Jo leaves for a time, they're still both there for over half a year,
with only fleeting appearances by anyone else from back in their world.

Natural Disaster | Alexz Johnson
Am I another casualty of the battle you're fighting?

Jo's POV. And instead of finding herself seeing him on the other side,
Jo winds up inside Star Wars, along with Dean. Confused at first
about why he doesn't remember her dying, they work out their timeline confusion,
and she keeps to herself the full details of Dean's role in her death. This song's
about Jo dealing with being collateral damage in the storms that seem to follow
Winchesters everywhere they go, and about how she sucks up her own feelings to
avoid burdening Dean with that shit right off the bat. And also about how she still
likes his ass, even if everywhere he goes, disaster follows.

On Call | Kings of Leon
She said call me now baby, and I'd come a'runnin'

Dean still sees Jo as the kid she was to him the last time he saw her, much to her annoyance,
and with Sam intermittently showing up, he doesn't really pay too much attention to Jo,
figuring she'll want to be out doing her own thing. However, when he winds up Captain
of the Enterprise II, she ends up signing up for crew, after he finds a way to undo the
charges that made him a wanted man on Coruscant. No matter how much
they might have their own things going on, if Dean needs help, Jo's there to
provide it, along, of course, with a large dose of snark.

Any Day Now | Missy Higgins
Say you've kept some fire aside, to set light to me some surprising night

Jo's POV. Jo keeps waiting for the day Dean will stop being an ass
and an idiot and appreciate everything she does for him and is for him, but he's not
particularly good at either of those things so she's consistently disappointed.
She winds up with Sirius but, as she'd later admit to Dean,
"Even when I was with Sirius, and even now, when Gabriel's suddenly interested..
I've always wanted you. I just wasn't ever gonna push it."
Even when she was with the others guys, she wanted the part of Dean that he kept
from everybody else, but was afraid that "all we see is all we've got".

Lying | Sam Phillips
If I said I believe in myself and I don't need you, I'd be lying

Jo's POV. As much as he drives her nuts and makes her angry enough
to throw darts at her picture, and consistently tell other people
how awful he is, Jo still cares for him and still wants him. Winding up
on his ship makes it clearer to her that she can't really willingly leave
his side, even when she's got a whole galaxy to choose from, and
the freedom her mother never let her have at home. Most of her lying is
as much what she doesn't say as what she does.

Where Do We Go From Here | Mat Kearney
Back of your eyes look like my mother's, when we talk you're like my brother

Dean's POV. When her apartment is blown up while he's off planet,
Dean's horrified by the idea of her dying while he wasn't around to help her.
However, he never says anything to her about it, after making sure she was okay from other sources.
He instead offers her a spot on his ship, where he can make sure they have each other's back.
He also expresses some playful jealousy over Sirius that isn't ... so playful underneath.
When Alice disappears, Dean makes Jo his official number one,

and during the time period where Sam was gone, he really bonds with his crew.
And Dean starts to slowly realize that this Jo is different than the one he'd remembered:
that she's grown in a lot of ways and that her inner strength is one of the few constants
he could rely on in this wacky galaxy. Without even realizing it, he was starting
to see her as an equal, more than a kid sister, or a young girl.
He even lets her help him pilot. :|

Part III: Breaking Point

When Jo's infected with a virus that turns her into a mindless zombie,
Sam & Dean have to stop her, the only way they know how. Upon her
death and subsequent return, emotions come to a sudden messy head.

Winter Sun | Dishwalla
I could hear you fall, I could feel your body through the floor
and all I see if the red of your blood for the first time

When Sam comes back, and the boys finally reunite on Coruscant,
Dean's feeling especially good about his space life. Unfortunately, nothing
good lasts in the Supernatural world, and Jo contracts the virus that dooms its
victims to being transformed into a hideous zombie eventually. Sylar takes care of her
while Dean's distracted by Sam, but eventually lets Dean know what's going on with her.
With no cure available, she remains isolated on the ship, until it's too late and she
turns into a rakghoul. Sam & Dean tell Buffy they only have one recourse of action to take:
they have to kill the monster and hope Jo comes back as herself.
They lure her off the ship but Dean hesitates when it comes time to throw the grenade,
until Sam reminds him that Jo would do this for either of them. Dean complies, and then
sheds an angsty single tear, refusing to stick around and talk to his bro or Buffy about it all.
Jo had told him all about what'd happened back home by this point, but their circumstances
had always made it really hard for him to really think about what it meant that she was dead back home,
and that it was his fault. This whole event drove all of that home in a stark and undeniable way that
woke Dean up to a lot of things.

Gravity | Coldplay
Baby, when your wheels stop turning and you feel let down,
and it seems like troubles have come all around

There was a part of Dean that was really worried that Jo might not come back,
or that if she did, the virus might claim her again, which is one reason he took a
personal hand in going to get a cure. But while Jo was gone, he was an angsty
mess inside, which Sam hinted at when she finally came back. Once again,
Dean couldn't bring himself to go talk to her about what had happened, and seemed
to ignore her when she showed up, but she recognized how much of it was his
guilt and self-loathing issues. Not that he'd ever admit it out loud.

Leave You On the Pavement | Catherine Feeny
Love those shadows underneath your eyes, and I love that little boy who lives inside of your smile

Jo's POV. So, Jo's frustrated by the way Dean acted like a jerk but she also understands it,
and she's torn between her hatred of her asshole tendencies, and all the things she loves about him.
And dying tends to put things in perspective, so she's feeling both of those things twice as much as usual.
She tries really hard to push herself past her feelings for him, and it leads to her accepting Sylar's
advances, but in the end, she can't really leave her feelings for Dean behind either. I love the line about
how she doesn't want to be a cliche, and that's one reason she doesn't want to believe she's just
holding out for him and is capable of moving on.

Okay | KaiserCartel
it's in your eyes, what you've been hiding
turn on the lights, the truth hit home
it's okay if you want to play dumb, it's okay if you fool everyone, it's okay if you want to have fun

Jo finally goes to speak to Dean again who tries to play it off as if he's okay, when it's obvious he isn't.
He also expresses his belief that Sirius wasn't good enough for Jo, but then tries to shove her off when
she confronts him about how he handled killing her.

Unsaid | The Fray
And we are leaving some things unsaid, and we are breathing deeper instead
We're both pretty sure neither one can tell; we seem difficult; what we got is hard as hell

Like I said, with Dean & Jo, the things they don't say are often as important as the things they

do, and they're both aware that there are things they aren't admitting to themselves or to each

other. And it was never more obvious than in her conversation with him upon returning from

death. Just as it looked like he was about to brush her off entirely and leave it at that, he

added that he was glad to have her back, and she caught some of the deeper implications of as

much. Neither of them expected to ever be able to say or explain their actual feelings to each

other, or were even willing to define it to themselves ("Not that you're the one/not to say I'm

right/not to say today/and not to say a thing tonight") but that Something was still hanging

there in the air between them.

Feel the Silence | Goo Goo Dolls
and you remain a promise unfulfilled
i ask you for more but you push me away

The silence hanging there between them, full of so many things that they're holding in, is so

thick that it's practically a tangible thing. Both of them have been "so lost for so long" that

they don't know how to reach out for (or even believe in the possibility of attaining) something

stable that they could both actually have here. It's almost easier for both of them to just let

it hang there unapproached than to deal with the fallout, but Jo's disappointment over an act as

simple as Dean removing her hand from his arm makes it clear that she's reached a point where

she's willing to face the consequences, rather than not giving it a shot even once. But she

doesn't know where to begin in finding a way to reach him, and she struggles to find a way in

this moment to actually say something.

Can't Fight this Feeling | REO Speedwagon

I wanted to avoid putting this ridiculously obvious song on the mix but... I also wanted it on

here to marker the moment when Jo got Dean to sing it along with her, lightening the mood of

their post-death conversation entirely. His putting aside his pride in order to make her smile

- and enjoying himself in the process - was what he felt was the least he could do after what

she'd been through. Obviously, this song itself... fits them really well,
but I DONT EVEN HAVE TO GO INTO THAT I HOPE.

Can I Have a Kiss | Kelly Clarkson

i see that you're torn, i've got some scars of my own;seems that i want what i know is gonna leave me hungry
don't move: i wanna remember you just like this

Jo's POV. Fully aware of the ghosts haunting him, but just as aware of her own emotional scars

over her death (made only more raw by the fact that he just had to kill her... again), Jo still

puts it out there that if Dean wants her, she's there for him. She doesn't imply a desire for

any emotional commitment, knowing that that's likely to be something she can never have from

him, but she still knows by now that she wants whatever she CAN have from him: even if it's just

one night. Part of her knows it won't be enough for her, and that it might hurt her worse in

the end, but she's in a messed up enough place emotionally to not care at the moment.
Also I like the line about her wanting to remember him this way in his happy carefree moment ;_;

Holy Love | The Cardigans

you can really make anyone you want of me / anyone you need tonight i'll be

whether you want empathy, animosity / an enemy or company, call me

i can even be nothing if you ask / i'll turn invisible for you

Jo's POV. Considering the way she acted the last time Dean in her own time tried to come onto

her, it's obvious at this point that she's become comfortable enough with her feelings for Dean

and her belief that he won't abuse her trust, that she drops all her own pride. Which is a big

deal, seeing as how it's something they BOTH hold stupidly dear to their stubborn hearts. But

that's the effect love has. D'aw. And at this point, she's more concerned with granting him

some happiness, than just fulfilling her own feelings, and so she makes it clear to him that

she's there as an option if it's one he wants - but that if he chooses not to take it, she can

suppress her own feelings and be his crewmate or sister or whatever he needs from her. And I

always like divine/angel references to Dean, because they never stop being funny and adorable to me.

Drumming Song | Florence + The Machine

as i move my feet towards your body, i can hear this beat
it fills my head up and gets louder and louder

Jo's offer really ratchets the sexual tension up to 100%, since it's... right out there,
and it manages to effectively completely short circuit all the wires in Dean's brain that

have been arguing him out of making a move on Jo. Which is why when she makes an off hand

comment about how he should have kissed her, he just... goes for it.

Untouched | Veronicas

i feel so untouched and i want you so much that i just can't resist you
it's not enough to say that i miss you. i need you so much somehow

And passionate makeouts are a go. Both of them are better at explaining everything they've been

feeling -this- way than with all those stupid words they can't say. But it's a very desperate,

unhealthy sort of kiss, considering how fueled by screwed up emotions it is, and seeing as how

neither one of them knows what the other one expects from them.

Desire | Ryan Adams

two hearts beating like a flower, and all this waiting for the power
for some answer to this fire, sinking slowly, the water's higher mmm desire

Whataya Want From Me | Adam Lambert

All I Want | Susie Suh

Part IV:

.zip

Dean Winchester

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